Anxious & Time Sensitive | Journal Entries - Thursday, 22 October 2019

Okay, so this morning on my way to the subway, I pulled out my phone to check the weather and emails to soon find out my phone was dead, never being charged last night against what I had thought I did. Fuck. And I had a doctor's appointment first thing in the morning; so, I had to wait even longer for a charger and to tell such news of my morning. This is what had happened.

On my way to the subway this morning and walking past my one of my favorite bodegas (they gave me a whole free box of tampons once, good looking out), I saw a screaming rat, crying over another dead rat next to the side walk. Bro looked unscathed, not run-over or anything. I never heard a rat scream like that, let alone scream. This mourning looked too intimate for the two to be just colleagues, no. Best friends. Parent and child. Life partners. Goodness. A lot to unpack for an intro, but I just felt it had to be broadcasted here. #NewYorkLiving. Looked like foul play.

I dedicated an intro to mourn over a rat. This is where we're at, folks. Okay, going back to commuting to my doctor's appointment this morning. Okay, so I was scheduled for shots this morning, having a crappy immune system. I was told, however, last week that I'd have to pick up the shots as a prescription prior to the appointment. Let it be known throughout this story, that I do not do well with science. I believe it, but I'm not good with the lingo nor have common sense when it comes to general lab stuff like preparing certain prescriptions. Okay, so I pick up my prescription last night from my pharmacy. The pharmacist checks to confirm that I am meant to use prescription only with my doctor. I assure him with the general confirmation "totes-my-goats" (jk, I said 'yes, I understand') and secure them into my bag, telling him they'll be safely transported to my doctor in the morning. And then I leave on my way. Now, I ask you--is it common knowledge to have a prescription that will be injected in you later on in a refrigerator?....My stupid ass kept these in the same bag overnight room temp, assuming I was doing everything right and secure. I was fucking wrong.

I find out while checking in at my doctor's appointment that I had to keep them at a particular cold temperature at all times, confirmed by the nurse asking why it wasn't cold and in a cold thermal locked bag. Wha? So, I fucked that up, but the pharmacist said nothing of this, just not to shake it too hard. Is it that much of common knowledge? If so, I'm just the village idiot who hasn't watched enough Grey's Anatomy to understand certain medical shit should be refrigerated. That was my morning. We rescheduled for tomorrow while still eligible for consultation today. I was able to ask my doctor about my continued sleeplessness, and we consulted. She also followed up on my physical therapy, saying I should do more of that and take B12. That's something! She complimented me on my hair, liking that I went back to black, "looks fresh and bold." I asked where she got her glasses from, knowing already it was Warby Parker. She said, "Warby Parker;" I acted surprised. We then bonded over being four-eyed for roughly fifteen seconds before she moved on, checking my blood pressure. I respected her time not to say anything further; I'd see her again tomorrow.

I was going to talk about something completely different today, but this morning's story is taking up paragraphs. I'll push the other story to tomorrow.

Now time jump back to the train ride of me rushing to the appointment for 9:30 am with 9:15 am check in. With a dead phone, one can imagine such vulnerability, worrying if you'll make it on time. As mentioned, I'm not a socializer. And this was morning rush where folks were already antzy. I didn't know if people literally were willing to give me the time of day because this M train was just letting all the F trains lead past it, heavily delaying everyone. I wasn't on a new train either where it told the time. I looked around to find people who wouldn't have me have to ask twice, i.e. people with earphones on or with attention elsewhere. Don't want to bother or spur awkward encounters. Luckily a woman next to me also needed to check the time, and I peaked. It was 9:03 am. Okay, cool. So much time. But I'm downtown while the doctors are uptown. Time can fly. Low and behold, more delays along the 4, 5, and 6 line and who knows what time has been lost. At that point, I'm rushing because I'm also probably late. I lose all congeniality and straight up ask the corporate sir going up the subway steps with me in crowd, "Hey, my phone is dead. What time is it?" He responds promptly with "it is 9:16." No attitude, no confusion, just ready. We all had places to be, people see. Maybe he was just relieved I didn't ask him to join my religion or pyramid scheme. No, Madison-don't lower the bar that much for your ego. Okay, maybe it was my authority. **blush. Or maybe there are just nice people who would literally gave me the time of day. But authority for me has a nice ring to it.

Okay, time jump back to after the doctor's appointment. I'm on my way to work where rush hour is over, taking me only thirteen minutes to get to get through town and go to work. Joy. New York is a special place. Is there like a psychology specialist/analyst/department for MTA? Like understanding the meter of psycho folks can turn during rush hour. There should be therapists on hand ready to coddle folks on the platform. There should be therapists on hand ready to coddle folks in a lot of places. That tag game people like to play when riding local, seeing then an express arrive on the platform, then rushing across, but then hearing over the intercom the express is experiencing delays, then cursing in agony in unisen with everyone as the local "stands clear of the closing doors" and leaves without you.

There's a metaphor I want to use where passengers didn't see or appreciate a local's love, eyeing an express rather, but is about to learn an R&B vibed lesson when comes to appreciating that local's worth. Can't think of one now, but maybe Jaheim's 2002 "Put That Woman First."

#anxiousand #newyorkcity #newyork #nyc #doctorsappointments #nycsubway #subways #mta #jaheim